I'm a violent sociopath, and this is the only thing I've found that keeps me sane.
I'm looking for an able-bodied crew... have you sailed before?
That's a... sensative subject for me.
What? Well, it *is* July 26... (insert current date).
Me Mum dresses me this way.
Why aren't you?
My great grandad was a pirate... it's a family thing
What else are you supposed to wear when you loot and plunder?
It was a dare.
You really don't want to know.
It's a very long story.
A pirate? What's that?
Actually, I'm a privateer.
(thick accent) I was told this is latest fashion here.
Bad hair day.
The only thinng I hadd clean.
I'm glad you asked... (walk away)
You know, I don't hear that a lot.
You know, it's a fetish thing.
I'm meeting a blind date here, so we decided to dress like pirates so we'd recognise each other.
I lose track of my friends otherwise.
Arrrrr... (walk away).
Laugh loudly and walk away.
Aye, you'd think there'd be a reason for that, wouldn't you?
When I was 5, I went on a cruise with my family, and I stole a stick of gum from the onboard store. That was my first theft at sea...
I'm in a play.
This way, I can get away with saying, "Yo, ho."
Start singing "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirate's Life For Me..."
Dead men tell no tales.
No time for that now. Have you seen a monkey this tall?
My imaginary friend is out to get me, but he's afraid of pirates.
Launch into a pirate joke.
I married into a pirate family.
Actually I'm a (vegan, Unitarian). This is how we dress.
I'm a software pirate, but their outfits are boring.
I'm a music pirate. I'm trying to make this our official look.
I'm on a mission from God.
I'm a big sports fan from Pittsburgh.
Because I like it when people ask me questions.
It attracts people of my preferred gender.
I'm a butt pirate.
I got in here free.
More comfortable than wearing a corsette.
I was told this was a costume event.
I came here straight from work.
Because of people like you.
My Captain requires it.
If they don't mention the word pirate... say, "Pirate!"
You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Haven't you heard there's a pirate convention?