Zed the Unicorn: What is this you've brought me?
Minion: Why, a pure, untainted virgin, of course! Her name is Gerty.
Zed: (sniff sniff) I don't think so. Gerty, you are not a pure, untainted virgin. Are you now?
Gerty: Of course I'm a virgin!
Zed: (stare stare)
Gerty: I have kissed of course. With tongue. Okay, okay, and manual stimulation, oral, anal... so what? I'm still a pure, untainted virgin.
Zed: (shakes head)
Minion: Sorry, Zed. Come along, Gerty, back to the village with you.
Gerty: What? No fair...
Is the common definition of "virgin" changing?
I still think sex is sex is sex... and am a virgin by that definition.